Readers comments

The Teleporter’s Handbook is an absolute revelation! It’s a wonderful collection of short stories told with the crisp bite of Roald Dahl at his best. The stories display such a rich historical knowledge of various movie star facts that I often found myself referring to Wikipedia after the end of a story. 

I loved the stories contained in this fun book. If you are looking for well written, fun, whimsical, delicious story telling that isn’t afraid to twist and bend and indeed teleport the reader, look no further. Great book to pick up and read a single story or curl up and delve into the whole. God Bless Michael Caine is a personal fave

Picasso on a Napkin. An imaginative miscellany of lyric poems – sense and nonsense, ridiculous and sublime – that float like a mirage on the stream of consciousness. From “Ode to a Zit” and “Refrigerator Blues” to the longer series of poems in “Discordia”, David Simmonds takes us on a journey built of the stuff of daydreams and nightmares, with a large dose of humour and fanciful wordplay stirred in. Delightful!

The Occasional Assassin

“To stop Gustav Hogg from continuing his destruction of our beautiful planet, a protest had been planned. It was a warm summer evening and when my friends failed to show; it occurred to me. It only takes one person to change the world, if you do it here and now.”  I purchased a pocket laser from a convenience dispenser. Sneaking past the guards into the area beneath the stage and checking the instruction pamphlet, I set the melt ray on high beam and waited. Gustav Hogg walked on to rapturous applause. With his arms outstretched, ready to accept his domination of the entire galactic network, I yelled his name. Looking up through the grid of scaffolding above my head, I wanted to make sure he had recognized me. In answer to his horrified response, I smiled and lined up his third eye in the crosshairs of my laser lens. Knowing that the Universe would surely recycle his essence for better use, I released the trigger and watched him melt. Vaporized, he was no longer a threat to freedom and reduced to a puddle on the stage. Then, panic ensued, and I was arrested. This is my confession. And I acted alone. Seeking Peace for our planet.

Signed, Zara Pagi.
The Occasional Assassin

Scheduled Release: January 2025

 

 

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